The little moments

Okay so why is it that once you become a mom (a new mom even more so) you become so overly emotion to babies and…….well everything. I swear I have turned into one of those ladies that cry over Hallmark cards. This morning as I listened to the radio a song came on “Have a little faith,” by Michael Franti and I began to think of my girls. I stood there in the room dancing with my 7 week old daughter, tears rolling down my face. How I want to make this world better for both my girls and how I hope they have faith in me, and I will have faith in them.
As cheesy as it sounds “I really can’t find words to express” the love I feel for my children. I can only hope that someday they are blessed enough to feel this type of love inside. It is a beautiful feeling, beyond any words.

The undevelopment of land

Yesterday as we drove around Salem and notice the recent "growth" of homes this song popped into my head. It is a sarcastic twist on how we make this world better with our development of land. I love this song by the Talking Heads, "Nothing but Flowers"

Oh what would this world be like if we really could go back to flowers...

Here we stand

Like an Adam and an Eve

Waterfalls

The Garden of Eden

Two fools in love

So beautiful and strong

The birds in the trees

Are smiling upon them

From the age of the dinosaurs

Cars have run on gasoline

Where, where have they gone?

Now, it's nothing but flowers

There was a factory

Now there are mountains and rivers you got it, you got it

We caught a rattlesnake

Now we got something for dinner we got it, we got it

There was a shopping mall

Now it's all covered with flowers you've got it, you've got it

If this is paradise

I wish I had a lawnmower you've got it, you've got it

Years ago

I was an angry young man

I'd pretend

That I was a billboard

Standing tall

By the side of the road

I fell in love

With a beautiful highway

This used to be real estate

Now it's only fields and trees

Where, where is the town

Now, it's nothing but flowers

The highways and cars

Were sacrificed for agriculture

I thought that we'd start over

But I guess I was wrong

Once there were parking lots

Now it's a peaceful oasis you got it, you got it

This was a Pizza Hut

Now it's all covered with daisies you got it, you got it

I miss the honky tonks,Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens you got it, you got it

And as things fell apart

Nobody paid much attention you got it, you got it

I dream of cherry pies,Candy bars, and chocolate chip cookies you got it, you got it

We used to microwave

Now we just eat nuts and berries you got it, you got it

This was a discount store,

Now it's turned into a cornfield you got it, you got it

Don't leave me stranded here

I can't get used to this lifestyle

Some photos

VICTORY!

Valkyrie at moms desk at work/Sisters/At the park with Huey

Mommy wearing Skyler /Waking up in the family bed

Super Papa/ Valkyrie!

Skyler /Sisters Love

Valkyrie looking cool downtown /Daddy & Skyler

Heading back to work

Mommy, Skyler and Valkyrie at Daddy's work.



Well tomorrow I head back to work. (only for a week, Jeff and I are alternating our leave until November)
To be completely honest I am looking forward to a week of some what relaxing….yes relaxing. The girls keep me very busy and overwhelmed. Balancing a newborn and a very active toddler is so hard. Needless to say I don’t get much downtime. This blog was written over a series of several days, just whenever I found the time to write. Speaking of writing I have stop writing in my journal of 13 years, I just don’t have the time to keep up with it, maybe in a few months I’ll pick it back up again but I just can’t now. The hardest thing for me lately is to slow down and relax. To let the girls control the day and not have me control them during the day. To understand the house is NOT going to get cleaned, there will be lots of messes I can’t get to, phone calls and bills will eventually get returned and that I must pick and choose the battles I want to fight with Valkyrie. Like do I really want to battle her over the DVD she has in her hands or the fact she is trying to stand on the chair in the dinning room. I have learned so much about myself and the kind of person I am in the past 6 weeks more than anything. Maybe that is why these weeks have been tough, because I have been facing down some of my own demons. Like confidence, I just feel I don’t have the confidence that it takes to handle the girls sometimes. I’m sure it will come in time. I think the lesson I need to learn here is listen to what the girls are trying to teach me, what lesson do I keep missing, there for must repeat. Sometimes your kids become your greatest teachers.

Valkyrie is doing great. She might be getting bored at home with me…no I take that back I know she gets bored when I have to sit and nurse Skyler and playing toys with her must take a back seat. She is going to daycare 2 days and week and it is great for everyone. She gets time out of the house to play with other kids and I get time to bond with just Skyler. Valkyrie is so dang smart she keeps me on my toes. She is leaning to count and I would say in the next few weeks she will be able to count to 10 alone. She still loves books and we read to her every night as part of our “calm down time”. She has taken well to Sklyer, she loves her. She wants to hold her and she is ALWAYS kissing her. She calls her “Sister, Skyyyyy, and baby” depending on her mood. When Skyler is upset and crying Valkyrie is genuine concerned for her. She almost gets worried. I have to tell her “the baby is fine don’t worry sweetie” That is one thing that Valkyrie is so amazing at, compassion. She has the most compassion I have ever seen out of anyone. She has compassion for people when they need it the most (like her mom). I recently lost my cool a little with her during one of her fits and I was a t a boiling point with myself and I spoke back to her in not the nicest of tones, maybe even a little harsh. While she was crying, in the middle of her tantrum she walks over to me (while I’m almost yelling at her) and she stretches out her arms, holds me and gives me a kiss. I melted. I began to cry, like I deserved that, no! I felt I deserved a kick in the pants but she looked at me and knew I needed the compassion and love she had to give. You can’t teach that kind of love, she is an old soul that comes from much compassion for others.
She still fight sleep and so I learned early instead of fighting her at home trying to get her to go down at nap time, I load the girls up and go for a drive. Seems to work for the time being. Sometimes I only have to drive for 10 min and others it can be an hour. Good thing I like books on CD. J Then I come home and lay her in her bed. If it is a good day and I’m really lucky, I’ll be able to nurse Skyler down and put her down for a nap too. When that happens I feel like I have conquered Mt. Everest. Sweet! I did it I got both girls down and now I have time to check my email, make myself a meal or even nap! It was funny when my parents were up visiting and my dad had Valkyrie entertained and Skyler was asleep in my moms’ arms I joked “I think I might go take a shower now, and I might even shave my legs!”

Not much to report on Skyler at this stage other than she is nursing great and growing fast. I can’t get over how much she and Valkyrie look alike. There is no doubt they are sisters. The only thing Skyler seems to completely protest is the car seat, she hates being in it and will cry until we take her out. Doesn’t make drives too fun, however her wrap is a godsend! I always wear her, it works like a charm. I do everything in it, cook, clean, walk, hang laundry outside and even use the bathroom (sorry Skyler).



Valkyrie 2008 Skyler 2009


Well I think that is good for now. I'll post some more photos soon. Like I said off to work tomorrow, ha work has nothing on me, I’ve been playing super mom at home for 6 weeks, what job could out do that one!

Skyler is a month!

Skyler is a month!!I can and can't believe it has been a month. I am still trying to get the hang of 2 kids. I would love to write more but I am so tired and now that it is past 10pm and everyone else is in bed, I think i'll join them, I'll write more in a few days, when I have more time to think about what i want to say. Right now i'm thinking...sleep.